September 20, 2022 – Millions of spectators marvel at cyclone on Monday night romantic Among the “Bachelor” couples and their extravagant dates, glamorous gowns and fitted suits, a mental health expert will document the contestants’ relationship behavior.
Diane Strachowski, EdD, a licensed cognitive-behavioral psychologist and couples therapist, uses media psychology Share Dating and Relationship Essentials from ‘The Bachelor’ Episode Through Her Instagram platform.
According to Strachowski, fans of the series — also known as “The Bachelor” — get invested in the “Bachelor” couple’s relationship journey, which can provide a valuable opportunity for self-reflection.
“I used the show as a catalyst to start talking about ‘what’s a good coupling? What’s a good relationship? What’s a good decision to have a viable relationship?'” said Strahovsky, who calls herself “Single Mentality.” scientist”.
Even twenty years later, “Bachelor” A franchise has at least 3 million viewers on any given episode. This summer, for the first time ever, fans reacted to two Bachelorettes – Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia – in one season.
Couples in the franchise have a success rate of about 30% – unexpected 75 “Bachelor” couple, twenty four still together. The emotional and physical impact of the competition portion of a show can play a significant role in both successful and unsuccessful pairings.
“its cortisol and endorphins and dopamine and serotonin. It’s all those neurotransmitters and chemicals we see in all relationships when we’re falling in love,” said Strachowski, who lives in Menlo Park, Calif., in the Bay Area. However, compared to “real life,” the show Amplifying these effects, in “real life” couples often move at a slower pace.
“Dating itself is full of adrenaline: bungee jumping, helicopter rides. All these experiences connect couples because your heart is beating because that feels like excitement, it feels like love.”
“The Bachelor” stars often pledge to “follow their hearts” in their decisions. However, it’s a lot more complicated than that, Strachowski said.
“‘It has to be a mind, heart and gut decision, not just who you’re attracted to,'” Strachowski said. “That’s why we’re seeing some of these couples break up. They don’t have enough time to really go through a deep decision-making process.”
Increasing the success rate of ‘bachelor’ couples
It’s critical that “Bachelor” leaders and contestants understand the difference between chemistry and compatibility, says marriage and family therapist Kelle Carver, owner of The Honored Place Therapy in Kansas.
“They feel similar when you’re in the beginning stages. Chemistry feels like this guy has fulfilled my every need, and they’re perfect for me. Chemistry can also be mysterious when you’re out of the honeymoon period. Yeah, right? You come from and your family system or the drive from past generations,” Carver said.
Compatibility is something deeper, says Noreen Dupriest, owner of Marriage and Family Psychotherapy, also in Kansas. True compatibility allows each partner to identify themselves, so focusing on similarities can also be a dating pitfall.
Sometimes, differences can actually work in the couple’s favor.The therapist gave an example Attachment style, or how someone develops an emotional bond with another person. While there are four styles, they highlight anxious versus avoidant attachment.
avoidant attachment: People seem confident, but they have difficulty expressing or accepting emotions
anxious attachment: People need help more emotionally and are afraid that others don’t want to be with them.
“Anxious attachments are, ‘I’m not enough, or will they see me?’ They typically seek out people with avoidant attachments and are very compatible with them. This avoidant attachment is so fearful of abandonment that They can rescue this anxious attachment,” Duprist said.
The Bachelor star reflects on true love after show
The “Bachelor” series stars also shared their experiences in an exclusive interview with WebMD. The 20th season of The Bachelor, Ben Higgins, said compatibility issues arose after the show, and he quickly realized what a partner he really needed.
“It changed me, I want someone who is caring, genuine, caring for people. No matter what, the person who will stand next to the person who dislikes these people the most. I know if they feel that way about other people , they feel that way about me, too,” he said.
Ashley Iaconetti-Haibon, host of “Almost Famous” podcastAlong with Higgins, the romantic spark in her relationship with “Bachelor in Paradise” cast member-turned-husband Jared Haibon surfaced after the two got to know each other a little.
“I think a lot of people think that chemistry is something you can feel in the first place. On ‘Bachelor in Heaven,’ my relationship with my husband was fun because I knew there was compatibility. But my nerves got in the way of chemistry, ” said Iaconetti-Haibon, who also owns Audrey’s Coffee House and Lounge in Rhode Island.
Life after the show can become challenging, Higgins said, and couples often need more time to say “I do.”
“I think it’s [the show] A great way to meet someone who could be your life partner. I don’t know of anyone who would immediately quit the show — even if they were so confident in that moment that they thought this was the right person for them — and said, ‘Hey, let’s get married next week,'” Higgins said. author of Alone in sight: looking for connect When you are seen but not known.
A lot has changed since the franchise began, and the “Bachelor” star often gets social media attention from the show. While this may raise questions about one’s motivation to apply, season six The Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky-Manno says the answer isn’t black and white — and it doesn’t have to be.
“At the end of the day, if someone’s on the show and they don’t really like you, you’re going to be able to sniff that out. If someone’s on the show for the sake of being famous and they’re really in love with you, you’re going to feel that way too,” she said. Say.
“If you look at this statistic a little differently, think about, out of all the men you’ve met in your life, that you’ve met randomly at a bar, how many people did you end up dating, how many people did you end up getting engaged to?” she says.
Higgins said that while his “Bachelor” journey didn’t end in true love, his experience eventually led him to his wife, Jessica.
“The way I found out about my wife was, after the show, looked, well, that’s what I was thinking during the show, when I had 30 people to get to know and work with to see if we could work. That’s me What I was looking for then. That didn’t work for me. What could I look for now? And I found it.”
be yourself unapologetically
Being who you are and showing your truest self can save “bachelor” relationships and “real life” couples from chaos, Strachowski said.
“If I pretend I’m a cool chick who doesn’t need anything, I’ll end up blinding my partner. I can only maintain this ‘pretend me’ for so long. Ask what you want and need. No apology.”