Since the rise of motivational science in the 19th century, scientists have been interested in what makes us persevere through hardship and achieve what we want.Only recently have they started paying attention how can we give up The desires we hold dear — and why we do. They call this process “goal disengagement,” and New York University research psychologist Gabriele Oettingen says it’s seen as “black sheep” field.
Why? Cathleen Kappes, a psychologist at the University of Hildesheim in Germany, says Western cultural biases glorify persistence and achievement, so giving up on goals is seen as a “failure”. Kappes is December 2022 issue motivation and emotion, It is entirely devoted to the advancement of goals divorced from science. This question embodies a swell movement to correct this neglect.
This work focuses on long-term goals that are central to our lives or identities: earning a degree, finding a spouse, becoming homeowners. Some goals may be short-term, such as training to run a marathon, but they all require commitment, effort, and sacrifice.
Endless research and everyday experience tell us that overcoming obstacles to ultimately succeed is critical to our well-being. Such a move could be anything from a toddler falling down until she learns to walk to a law school grad finally passing the bar exam.
But trying and trying again isn’t the whole story. What the latest science tells us is the importance of letting go of ambition when it becomes too expensive or less feasible, or both. Given the long-standing emphasis on the value of persistence, an immediate question arises: Is letting go as important as persistence? It’s hard to know. What matters most to our well-being, Kappes says, is “the optimal interplay between these two processes.”
The ability to set goals, pursue them despite setbacks, and abandon them when circumstances change is adaptive and healthy. The same goes for finding and committing to meaningful new ambitions. Some of us are better at one or both of these things, and how well we do them can greatly affect our emotional and physical health.
To measure how our natural ability to do these two things affects people’s lives, Carsten Wrosch, a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Quebec, and Michael Scheier, Professor Emeritus, Carnegie Mellon University, developed goal adjustment scale (gas). It asks how people react when they are forced to stop pursuing important goals. One self-assessment component declared, “I’ve been committed to this goal for a long time; I can’t let it go.” Another said, “I seek other meaningful goals.”
GAS measures people’s ability to disengage and their ability to find and commit to new goals. Wrosch said these are complementary but distinct functions.Letting go means letting go of commitment and effort – it prevents repeated failure and leads to failure Reduces stress, depression and intrusive thoughts. Committing to and working on new aspirations creates a sense of purpose in life and reduces feelings of failure.
Certain personality traits are associated with these abilities. “An optimist may feel, ‘My life will be good again,’ which makes it easier to let go and get back to new goals,” says Wrosch.Psychologist Lucas Skeller says he and his colleagues at the University of Konstanz in Germany have Found that people who are “habitual planners (if-then thinkers) have a harder time letting go sometimes, but are better at finding and pursuing new endeavors once freed.”
equipped with scales To measure goal-adjustment abilities, the scientists studied their effects. A 2019 meta-analysis of 31 samples overwhelmingly showed people who are better at letting go With better endocrine and immune system function, better health behaviors and fewer physical problems. Those who were better at pursuing new goals were healthier and functioned better when they were feeling down.
In this regard, two studies are particularly notable.exist A study by Wrosch and colleagues, compared two groups of parents: the first group whose children had cancer and the second group whose children were healthy. Parents of healthy children are generally less depressed. However, parents of children with cancer exhibit high levels of depression if they are unable to disengage or reengage. In contrast, peers they were able to disengage and reconnect with had lower depressive symptoms, similar to parents of healthy children.
other The study followed 135 adults, Between the ages of 64 and 90, during about six years of life, physical decline often makes certain desired pursuits no longer possible. For those who scored high on the ability to disengage, depressive symptoms were generally lower and did not worsen. Those who scored low became more depressed over time, and by the end of the multi-year period, they reached a level of depression that warranted clinical assessment and possible intervention.
In various studies, Wrosch and his colleagues have found that the ability to disengage is associated with lower cortisol levels and better immune function. “In the context of stress and unattainable goals,” he said, “goal disengagement and goal re-engagement capabilities are critical for protecting well-being and health.”
When we set career or relationship goals that are closely tied to who we are, it can be hard to let go, even in the face of insurmountable obstacles. We’ve invested a lot of money into getting a Ph.D., trying to conceive through repeated fertility treatments, and marketing the invention. Deciding when or whether to let it go isn’t easy. In fact, it can be a long and complicated process, with people torn between the need to hold on and the need to let go. Veronika Brandstätter-Morawietz, a motivational psychologist at the University of Zurich, and her colleagues call this struggle “theaction crisisThe decision to stay or go works on three levels: behavioral (the effort you put in), cognitive (the ongoing assessment of your progress and prospects), and emotional (whether you still value your goals).
Such crises are not uncommon. In an unpublished 2017 study of 100 senior executives by Brandstätter-Morawietz, 60 percent said they were currently experiencing an operational crisis, while 10 percent had experienced one before. “Of course, these data are not representative,” she said, “but it can give us an idea of how common mobility crises are.”
When you’re really powerless about your goals but still ruminating —as happened to many people due to unemployment During the COVID Pandemic – Researchers have found that having a higher proportion of these “frozen goals” and focusing more on them leads to greater stress, depression and anxiety. These people have stopped working on their goals, but they are not cognitively or emotionally disengaged.
Feelings of being out of control may play a role in this outcome.Experiments by Zita Mayer, a psychology researcher at the University of Zurich, and colleagues showed that when subjects shelved one of two desirable goals and had the option to return to the shelved goal later, they felt less regret than those who permanently abandoned one of the goals.
Cognitive strategies exist to help people break free from the pursuit of fruitless goals. Some make a difference by helping them reevaluate the feasibility and desirability of their goals. mindfulness can do that. It works by freeing people from defenses and judgment, and subjecting them to information that may be unwelcome but critical to accurately assessing their progress and chances of success.
The most famous goal-focused strategy is called Mental Contrast and Implementing Intention (MCII), which helps people avoid bumping into immovable objects in the first place. When starting to use MCII, says Katharina Bernecker, a psychologist at the University of Zurich, “it may help people set achievable goals and prepare mentally for difficult situations.”
MCII is the invention of Gabriele Oettingen, a research psychologist at New York University.she did it open online As WOOP (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan). Study after study testMCII has shown that it can achieve behavior change in different fields such as education, healthy with interpersonal relationshipMostly, it’s used to help people persevere, overcome obstacles and achieve their goals — when those goals are possible, Oettingen said. “its Also effective for active disengagement— when obstacles are considered insurmountable,” she said.
Here’s how MCII works: People identify their aspirations for an ideal future—say, becoming a doctor. They imagine the best possible outcome and feel the joy of being an oncologist who helps save cancer patients. Then they considered and imagined key obstacles—for example, a mediocre grade in science. They figure out how to overcome obstacles and make plans. This may require finding a science tutor and studying harder. If despite these steps, they still do not score above a C in science courses, another MCII may help them change their plans or course of action.
“Confront these obstacles head on,” Oettingen said summarizing the strategy. “If you understand that they are insurmountable, or that another goal is more pressing at the moment, you can save a lot of resources by saying ‘I’d better leave.’ You can then adjust your desires, defer to another time or give up. “
She explained that the impact of MCII occurs at all three levels: cognitive, emotional and behavioral.In many studies, it has been shown that Helping people stop planning a potentially futile goal. This strategy makes them feel “cool” about the change and prevents them from dedicating energy and resources to that goal.
Oettingen applauds the recent scientific focus on letting go. “Scientists are learning to better understand the goal disengagement process and how to help people who are annoyed by blocked goals, caught between continuing and letting go, and ruminating,” she said.
